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January 13, 2005
How to Pay for Grad School
I'm a grad student. I am a covert grad student under the clever disguise of a technical professional. I sneak out of my office, change into my Birkenstock sandals and t-shirt, and go listen to professors speak about their various areas of expertise. I have been doing this for close to six years now. I have a feeling that I will be doing it for six more.
Short of selling a kidney or other organ, I will never be able to afford to go to school full-time. I'm just caught in the middle... too busy with school to have too much responsibility at work.... too busy with work to become more involved in school. The balance is tricky. I'm not sure I can keep up either charade for much longer. Surely, I'll blow my cover eventually.
So, this morning, I began brainstorming ways to pay for graduate school. (1) keep eyes out for a bag full of money - preferably free money with no nasty goon-ish people who will come look for it. (2) genetically engineer a talking dog. Surely, we would all want one of these... I'd be a millionaire... and I could become a full-time student. (3) find a human appendage in a soft drink. I don't know how often this happens, but, I'm pretty sure I'd get a huge settlement. (4) hit it big on antiques roadshow.... I just know that jackalope has to be worth big money. (5) become world-class super model.... I just have to throw up everything I ever eat and stare vacantly into space, right?
Mostly, I'd just like to be paid to exist... is that too much to ask?
Posted by trina at January 13, 2005 12:09 PM
Comments
yes
Posted by: adam at January 13, 2005 02:24 PM
I think you should discover how to grow money on a tree. Not only does it produce money in and of itself, you can also charge people beaucoup bucks for tours. :o)
Posted by: alpha at January 19, 2005 08:06 AM