February 20, 2006
Smile and Nod
Everytime I think I've finally caught up with all the endless crap that flows through my life... suddenly, I have one of those days that feels like someone turned up the volume and hit fast-forward. I'm thinking my only way out is to smile big and nod even bigger.
I'm not even sure why I stopped to write this comment on my blog... oh well, you can all take a lesson... anyone who is reading this.. just smile and nod. I won't know the difference.
Posted by trina at 01:27 PM | Comments (1)
February 17, 2006
Happy VD Everyone!!
Today is Valentine's Day. I realize it's not actually Valentine's Day, but, this is the day upon which my husband and I have agreed to celebrate it. I'm not sure what's worse... celebrating a holiday created by greeting card companies... or celebrating it on the wrong day. Either way, I get to put on a nice outfit and go out to dinner. (I guess there's something in it for the restaurant companies as well.)
I don't blame the companies for wanting to invent holidays. I just wish that we could add our own. I'd like to add a "Take your Favorite Slacker to Lunch Day" or a "National Underpaid Graduate Student's Day". I'm sure I could find a way to cash in on both of these holidays.
While I was visiting Rome, I heard that the Romans had a buttload of holidays every year. I don't remember the exact number, but, I want to say it was over 200... and this was in a society without the added productivity of computers. I bet we could meet and exceed their standard if we all tried hard enough. I'll start with today... Today can be "Write a Bad Blog Entry Day". Or, for those who don't want to write a blog entry, I'm sure we can accomodate you with a "Write a Bad Blog Comment Day".
Posted by trina at 02:57 PM | Comments (0)
February 16, 2006
To Upgrade on Not To Upgrade
Whether 'tis better to waste Adam's time or satisfy my aesthetic inklings.... that is the real question. So... maybe I should take a poll of all two people who read this thing... upgrade the blog or no? For the moment, I'll pretend that we still live in a democracy.
Posted by trina at 03:40 PM | Comments (2)
February 07, 2006
My Chakras are calling in sick today
Has anyone else heard this stuff about indigo children? Last weekend, a friend told me about this... but, I honestly thought they were joking. However... here it is...
"The term Indigo child has been coined to describe the new breed of children that have come to this planet to assist us in evolving humanity. The characteristics of the Indigo child may include those usually born in 1978 or later, strong willed, headstrong, creative, with an artistic flair for music, jewelry making, poetry, etc., prone to addictions, an "old soul" as if they are 13 going on 43, often labeled as ADD or ADHD, intuitive or psychic, possibly with a history of seeing angels or deceased loved ones, an isolationist, either through aggressive acting out, or through fragile introversion, independent and proud, even if they're constantly asking you for money, possesses a deep desire to help the world in a big way, wavers between low self-esteem and grandiosity, bores easily, prone to insomnia, restless sleep, nightmares, or difficulty/fear of falling asleep, has a history of depression, or even suicidal thoughts or attempts, looks for real, deep, and lasting friendships, and easily bonds with plants or animals. (Carroll/Tober) "
So... apparently, higher states of consciousness involve being a complete pain in the ass. I always wondered what my problem was. I'm just advanced.
Posted by trina at 12:48 PM | Comments (0)
February 03, 2006
Resting Up
I have not written anything on this blog for a very long time. I like to think it's been because I've been saving all my insightful observations about life for future blog entries. However, we all know that this is not true.
I'm not resting up for greatness... I'm just resting. This is what lazy people do in order to make themselves feel better about being a total bum. We tell ourselves that something important is going to happen... and it must be just around the corner. When that day comes, I will be rested and awake. I have had the sleep of ten men (or women... I don't want to appear sexist).
Posted by trina at 02:07 PM | Comments (2)
August 02, 2005
Just Do A Half-Assed Job
I learned a little trick from the wise world of "The Simpsons". If there is any chore you don't want to do, just do a half-assed job. For example, you could wash your parent's car with rocks or you could let the dog lick all the dirty dishes in the sink.
I have extended this piece of wisdom to all areas of my life. From homework to financial planning, this is the philosophy that keeps me in motion. If I didn't have the option of doing a half-assed job, I may never work on anything ever again. I'd be content just to sit in a lazy stupor for the rest of my life.
What surprises me the most about this tactic (particularly in work situations) is how often it passes for pure genius.
Posted by trina at 02:52 PM | Comments (0)
August 01, 2005
Try Try Again
In my ever-increasing quest to be opinionated and pedantic, I decided to revive my blog. This summer gave me a serious ass-whipping (or ass-whooping seeing as how I am in Texas) both mentally and physically. I didn't feel like I had much to say.
I'm not sure I actually have much to say now, but, certainly more than I did last week. The irony is that my job is to think. I am paid to use my noodle. I'm afraid that if I can't think of enough things to write about on this blog, then, I will surely starve in a few more years.
So, what do I have to say today? Well, it's mostly an observation. My professor should never have submitted my final grade before receiving the source code to my independent research project. I'm not sure he would feel the same way about the grade he gave me when he notices that it took me 10 weeks to make a 20 line code change. Oh well, I can still argue that those are 20 amazing lines of code... which they are, of course.
My second musing for the day is about politics. I have been trying to avoid using this blog as a platform for me to spout all my left-wing propaganda. So, I'll just have to keep this musing to myself. If you really want to know what it is... I'll just have to say that it has something to do with that drinking game, "Presidents and Assholes". I didn't invent that drinking game, but, I sure do appreciate it.
Thank you, God Bless, and God Bless the United States.
Posted by trina at 04:40 PM | Comments (0)
July 07, 2005
Eyeballs
My life is really boring and I'm up to my eyeballs in homework.
There... That's what's going on with me.
Posted by trina at 01:58 PM | Comments (1)
June 16, 2005
The Joy of Crap
Sometimes, feeling like crap can feel good. Like those days when you're sick, and you get to wallow around in your pajamas and watch movies all day. Even though you feel like your head is about to explode, it still feels pretty good to just relax for an entire day. I'm sure the cold medicine helps.
So, I think I felt better when I felt like crap. At least, then, I didn't have so many delusions that everything was going well in my life. If you always feel like crap, then, all the not-so-crappy things are just pleasant surprises... right?
I think the mistake was being happy for a while. But, it's been corrected. Luckily, I feel like crap again.
Posted by trina at 12:45 PM | Comments (0)
June 15, 2005
Marriage
So, all you really have to do to get married is promise to love and cherish your partner from this day forward for as long as you both should live.... and you're secretly thinking to yourself, so, how bad can it really get?
I am reminded of a story I read somewhere about a couple.... let's call them Ken and Barbie. Right after the wedding, Barbie found out that Ken was out on bail for armed robbery, was already married, had a son with a history of arson, and that he had taken out $250,000 in life insurance on her at their wedding reception. I guess it's safe to say that they didn't have a very pleasant honeymoon. I cannot remember where I first heard this story, but, I apologize to whoever it was... It serves as a constant reminder to me of everything that my marriage isn't.
So, I suppose it can always be worse.... in which case, I suppose I'll forgive my husband for not doing the dishes last night.... this time, anyway.
Posted by trina at 01:32 PM | Comments (0)
June 14, 2005
Independently Wealthy
Sometimes when I watch television, I think about how it's not fair that all these people are rich and famous and I am not. I think that there are many examples in this world of people who just don't know how to be properly rich. I have no doubt that if I were rich, I would be able to do it up right.
None of this namby-pamby rich stuff... I would be rich, the *right* way. If they can't be rich correctly, I don't think they deserve to keep all that money to themselves.
Then again, I would probably just end up sitting around on my ass all day, watching television, and eating. Ahhhh, the good life.
Keep your fingers crossed for me, kids. I'm picking up some lottery tickets on the way home and I sure do feel lucky.
Posted by trina at 01:30 PM | Comments (1)
June 13, 2005
Responsibility
I think I should view this blog similar to feeding my dog. If I don't feed my dog, she'll get skinny and sick. Eventually, she could starve to death. Therefore, it is my responsibility to feed her. I choose to feed her because I love my little puppy very much.
This blog needs entries. Gawd knows I have more than enough stuff to say. Anyone who knows me can attest to my ability to rant for hours about anything. I love to rant... and as a responsible person, I should feed my blog with entries. Why even have a blog if I'm not going to use it? My inner utilitarian cannot abide by this disgraceful display of laziness and disuse.
So, this is me... I'm writing an entry. Write write write... this is me ranting. Fun fun fun. I like to write. Rant rant rant.
Posted by trina at 02:48 PM | Comments (0)
June 09, 2005
Mutant
About five minutes ago, I was talking to my boss about a project we have been working on this summer. When I speak, I have a terrible nervous habit of putting my hand up to my neck while I'm listening to the other person. Imagine my surprise when I felt a two inch mutant hair growing out of my neck. Suddenly all thoughts turned to my hideous mutant hair. Could I pull it without my boss noticing? Would I be able to find it again if I took my hand off my neck? Why was this happening to me? Why do I have to be so gross?
So, I took the chance of drawing more attention to my deformity and decided to pull it. It's hard to be nonchalant while you're trying to pull a two inch mutant hair out of your neck. Not to mention, it was much harder to pull it than I thought it would be. That sucker must have sensed that I was trying to excise it from my neck, and, latched on for dear life. Gross.
But, I was victorious. I am no longer plagued with that mutant hair. Now, I'm only plagued by the idea that there must surely be more. How can I walk around knowing that I have mutant hair growing out of my neck? Someone please give me a tranquilizer. This mutant hair stress is freaking me out.
Posted by trina at 01:34 PM | Comments (3)
June 01, 2005
Moderation
Everything is good in moderation, right? Moderation is good in Moderation. I am moderately pleased with moderating my mode.
Posted by trina at 04:23 PM | Comments (0)
May 27, 2005
Shallow
Today, I have indulged in the most banal depths of my superficiality... I went shopping. I shopped like a true shopper. I went from store to store to store in a fit of drunk pleasure. Under neon signs and flourescent lights, I tried on outfits. Lots of outfits. Outfits upon outfits. For possibly the first time in my entire life, I spent all morning at a mall and critically judged outfit after outfit. Gawd, I feel like such a stereotypical *girl*.
And now... I feel dirty. I feel really really dirty... even though, I didn't buy anything. Somehow, that's even worse. That was shopping for sport, for pleasure... rather than with reason.
I have never been a big shopper. I usually shop with a purpose... find the most utilitarian thing in the store and make a beeline out the door. Or, like most people I know, I just get hand-me-downs from siblings or friends.
So, where did this urge come from? How could someone who has never once been concerned about finding that perfect little bag to match those cute little shoes suddenly be struck dumb and be compelled to join the masses at my local shopping mall?
I haven't actually decided who to blame yet, but, I'll figure it out. Someone or something should be responsible for my shame.
Posted by trina at 01:26 PM | Comments (1)
May 24, 2005
Chutzpah
I grew up thinking that I would become a rock star. I suppose there is still time, but somehow, I don't think my frumpy-housewife-turned-graduate-student image is really going to get me to the MTV music awards. Then again, maybe it will.
Maybe there's still time to become the MTV computer scientist. Gawd knows that have enough other crap on there, and, heaven forbid they play music on their channel (gasp). Maybe I could call it Katrina's Kitschy Komputation Korner...
eh, or maybe I should just get back to work.
Posted by trina at 12:45 PM | Comments (0)
May 23, 2005
Random
This morning, I couldn't help but wonder what the Japanese fascination is with animated octopus sex. Is it just me, or is this becoming a rather disturbing trend?
My second thought for the day was about imaginary bunny friends. I don't have one yet, but, I'm sure I will soon.
And lastly, my most current thought for the day was about Diet Coke with Splenda. Being a weight-conscious girl, I have already accepted that I am confined to the world of diet sodas. Sometimes, I think I can actually taste all the cancer in those drinks. Well, my point, Diet Coke with Splenda makes me very very sad. This may be the newest low in my dieting trials and tribulations.
Oh, and I just had another thought... I thought that maybe I should explain the long absence from my blog. But... I won't.
Posted by trina at 02:37 PM | Comments (1)
March 31, 2005
qualified shmalified
This morning, I signed up to take my qualifying exams. For anyone who is not familiar with this process, it means that I have to take a series of exams to prove that I learned the material in the classes I took. Apparently, getting a good grade in the class or passing the final exam is not enough. They have to be sure that we actually know it... because obviously, we could all fake our way through a final exam.
I don't know what strikes me as worse, the fact that they have so little faith in their professors abilities to teach us this material, or the fact that these tests were introduced because so many people *did* manage to fake their way through their coursework..... and now run through the streets flailing about in their own pile of ignorance and embarrassment.
So, I propose that we all take exams as early and as often as humanly possible. Exams for everyone!! All the time!! Let's get rid of all the incompetence (except in cases where it's amusing). Qualifying exams all around... woohoo!!
Posted by trina at 01:17 PM | Comments (1)
March 30, 2005
It's a fine line
From time to time, I have to revisit the problem of distinguishing honesty from bluntness. Bluntness is certainly a subset of honesty, but, definitely more negative.
So, I'll be honest. I don't really give a damn. Oh wait, was that too blunt?
Posted by trina at 03:49 PM | Comments (0)
March 29, 2005
hi, this is katrina....
Every now and then, I am reminded of who I am. Not just where I come from or who I used to know, but, who I actually am. I'm not afraid to say it, I really like me. I'm like the sister I never had and my bestest friend all rolled into one. (This comment of course is in no way to offend my best friends, who I love dearly.) But, let's face it... I'm pretty darn okay... not to mention, a stone cold fox.
I need these swift kicks to my consciousness from time to time. Otherwise, I would forget that all in all, I'm pretty okay. I'm the scum of the earth or the downfall of civilization. I'm pretty sure I'm not the anti-christ (although only time will really tell)... and I'm sure I'll never grow up to be a drain on the very fabric of society (like a pop tarlet or something).
My point? Well, I think it's important to remember to feel comfortable in your own skin. My skin feels good today, like fuzzy slippers or velvet pajamas wrapped in silk. Anyway, for just this brief moment in time, I think everything is going to be okay. The universe is surely smiling down upon me now.
Tomorrow is another story, however.
Posted by trina at 04:57 PM | Comments (0)
March 28, 2005
Easter Shmeaster
I'm a fan of Easter. It always marked for me the beginning of spring... the days look prettier and it's not as dark and dismal outside in the morning. It's a time of rebirth, renewal, and all that good-hippie-love-stuff.
However, I am skeptical of this Easter bunny fellow... the one bringing bags of candy to everyone in order to celebrate.... just where did this bunny come from and why is he trying to derail my diet?
Okay, as so many other symbols of holiday fun, the Easter bunny has its origins in pre-Christian fertility lore. The Hare and the Rabbit were the most fertile animals known and they served as symbols of the new life during the Spring season.
So, apparently, Easter is the time for the rabbit to inspire us to mate like bunnies. The candy is obviously to serve as fuel for these marathon humping sessions. I guess we could all think of the Easter bunny as the forkloric pimp for all of us.... I think I can get down with that... right on. The Easter bunny wants you all to do it.
I guess we all must obey the bunny.
Posted by trina at 02:31 PM | Comments (0)
March 22, 2005
Fat Housepets?
Yesterday, my husband got a lecture from the vet that our dog is overweight. She's not just barely overweight... she is deep in the throws of being overweight. In a society where 50% of the population is overweight, I suppose it is natural that this epidemic would spread to our pets.
Since I can't just sign my dog up for jazzercise, I suppose this means that I will also have to get my butt off the couch, peel myself away from CSI and take her running with me. I'm sure this exercise will be good for both of us, but, I can't help but give into my feelings of dread.
I guess it wouldn't be humane to just starve her for a while until she was back to normal. Then again, wouldn't this be imposing anorexia on my dog?
I don't think dogs are obsessed with thinness. They eat what tastes good and they sleep the rest of the time... must be nice. I'm pretty sure a dog can still get laid even if she's carrying a few extra pounds. The dog world can get over their body issues... so, why can't we?
Mostly, I guess I'm just trying to find a reason to keep from getting off the couch... darn.
Posted by trina at 12:42 PM | Comments (0)
March 16, 2005
Crayons Taste Like Purple
I just want to take a moment in silent appreciation of "Greg the Bunny". I didn't appreciate it enough when it was on television... and now that it's gone and I can truly see its genius... it was taken away from us all too soon.
There are life lessons to be learned from Greg the Bunny. We should all be proud of our puppet heritage and treat all fabricated americans with respect. Puppets are just as susceptible to human vices as the rest of us... and we shouldn't judge them so harshly.
I wish I had a little Greg the Bunny buddy to hand out with me right now. He could offer me little words of bunny encouragement to keep studying even when my attention is waning.
We all could use a little bunny buddy from time to time.
Posted by trina at 12:41 PM | Comments (2)
March 15, 2005
Television
I have always thought it strange that people watch so much television. Television is supposed to be a reflection of our society... it's a window into the humorous situations or interesting ideas in our daily lives. However, if that were true... most television shows would be about people sitting around after school/work and watching television. There isn't enough humorous material in my everyday life to base a show on. Mostly, I study and I watch television.
So, I can't help but ask myself do I watch so much television because I don't have an exciting life or do I not think I have an exciting life because I watch so much television? How could my life possibly compare? Luckily, I don't have to worry about it. No one is watching me right now, which is a good thing, my ratings would be terrible.
Could I really make an interesting show about my day so far? Let's see, I made oatmeal for breakfast, I gave a presentation in one of my classes, I searched through my purse to try and find a dollar for a diet coke (and failed), and I just wrote in a bug-fix for some code I was supposed to finish over spring break (but didn't). Hrmmm... it's lookin' pretty dry... definitely missing an annoying, but funny, neighbor, to add narration and insight... or an alien who likes to eat cats which can also create wild wacky hi-jinx.
Ho hum.... wonder what's on right now?
Posted by trina at 12:43 PM | Comments (0)
March 14, 2005
Welcome Back Campers
Another Spring Break successfully executed... I slept, I read, I slept again. But mostly, I think I became reacquainted with my inner slacker. It was everything I thought it would be.
After such a long break, one would think that I had some deep knowledge or observations to impart now. But, I don't. That's the cool part of getting in touch with your slacker. I didn't do *anything*. I didn't think, I didn't figure out life's biggest mysteries, and I didn't read the world's greatest works of literature. I mostly hung out in my pajamas, went running, took long bubblebaths, and watched TV. Ahhhhh... I never knew that life could be so stress-free... if only for a week.
The daily grind is hitting me full-force today, and maybe, for once, it actually feels good.
Posted by trina at 11:54 AM | Comments (1)
March 03, 2005
How Many Gray Hairs Until I'm an Old Lady?
So, I am going through a crisis. I guess it can't be described as a mid-life crisis, since I'm sure I'll live past 56. It's even more misleading to call it a quarter life crisis, since there is no way I'll live to 112. So... maybe this is my 33.33% life crisis.
I am going gray.
I thought I made a deal that this would never happen to me. I would never age if I just managed to stay in college (so far so good on that one). I would never turn 30, I would never get a wrinkle, and I'd never have to worry about high blood pressure, bone density loss, or dimentia. Those would be reserved for someone else.
But, I'm going gray.
Ughhh... I never pictured myself becoming an old lady, but, it's going to happen (unless that big comet with the Earth's name on it finally comes down here and ends life as we know it). Being faced with this new event, I must come up with a contingency plan. There must be some advantages to growing older... Maybe I should save all my really crazy partying for when I'm an old lady... I can picture it now... "Oh, I'm sorry Officer, is this your car? Oh, dearest me, I must have made a mistake. I'm sorry for all that confusion." Who would have the heart to arrest a little old lady?
Well, I guess I have more important issues to weigh now. Should I get rid of the gray? Or, can gray hair be attractive... drop dead sexy, even? I just don't know.
Posted by trina at 01:09 PM | Comments (2)
March 01, 2005
The Next Big Thing
I admire people who can keep up their enthusiasm even when the tedium of "everyday" begins to take hold. Their enthusiasm is infectious, in fact. It helps me to appreciate the little things that make life worth living. So, I thought that today I would list a few things that make life worth living.... since I am always trying to look on the bright side... even when it appears that all the lights have gone out.
Mark Farina's Mushroom Jazz 2 and 3, Cold soda from a coke machine that someone left their change in (score), Spring break is only three days away, It's still cool enough that we might possibly get a snow-day sometime this week, and I'm pretty sure it's only going to take my ten minutes to make dinner tonight.
These are the things that make my life worth living today. I suppose on any other day I could also add: Butthole Surfers, People who actually let you move over in traffic when you use your turn-signal, Campisi's pizza, and Slobbery dog toys. Maybe I'll just hold onto those for tomorrow when I feel the need to hit someone.... this goes for hitting someone with either my car or fist... and yes, this urge overtakes me at least once a day.
Posted by trina at 03:34 PM | Comments (2)
February 28, 2005
I Shake My Caboose
I don't know why I'm in such a good mood... but, I've decided not to question it. It's time for rump-shakin'...
Posted by trina at 03:18 PM | Comments (0)
February 25, 2005
Doctor of Computology
The other night, I was up late watching PBS. Occasionally, I am prone to bouts of insomnia that usually manifest into some new neurosis. I watch lots of shows about science and technology. They always introduce many PhDs... Dr. So-and-So, technologist... Dr. Whats-his-Name, biologist... Dr. Thing-A-Ma-Jig, psychologist.
Next year, I too will have a PhD. (I know, you're all shocked) But, what is my "ology"? If you're getting a PhD in Computer Science, what is that the study of exactly? What would be my title if I ever made it onto one of these science programs?
Computer Scientists need love too. We need to define our "ology".... otherwise, we'll always be confused with computer hackers writing kiddie scripts in their mom's basement. Besides, why should all the other sciences get an "ology" and we get left out? New sciences need "ologies" too.
We study computation... Therefore, I suggest we call ourselves "Computologists"... it has a nice ring to it, I think. I suppose it sounds a bit like Cosmotologist, but, I'm willing to take that chance. I dare anyone to ask a computer science professor to give them a manicure.
My very close second runner up to this idea was "Brilliantologists"... but, I have a feeling that all the other "ologists" would get jealous. We don't need to start any inter-departmental feuds.... I can imagine gangs of professors and post-docs roaming the halls flashing gang signs at eachother.
So, that's it... I study Computology... Yo.
Posted by trina at 02:32 PM | Comments (12)
February 24, 2005
Ramblings After A Midterm That Sucked Ass
Is it possible to get a negative score on a test? Because, I think I may have done just that. The test I turned in about an hour ago was such a testament of ignorance, it may actually make the professor dumber for having read it.
Some may say this is pessimism. Actually, I think this is realistic.
This makes me think of a psychological study I read once. It tried to prove that happy people have a distorted view of reality. Happy people actually believe in a different reality.. some could even say that they are not in touch with reality at all. If I could just figure out a way to package and sell delusion, I could forget all about this degree and do that instead.
In the wake of an extremely difficult exam, we all might all be the closest to enlightenment that we may encounter in this lifetime. This is the furthest from ego I will be for the rest of the day. Could this shock and awe I feel in the wake of my exam actually be my path to nirvana?
We'll see. I have a feeling that tomorrow, I'll be just as petty and egomaniacal as I usually am. Too much enlightenment just makes me sleepy.
Posted by trina at 04:45 PM | Comments (1)
February 21, 2005
Me and Greek Mythology
This weekend, my husband and I rented "Troy". I finally got a chance to watch it last night.... Now, my point.... it's been a long time since I studied Greek mythology, but, I couldn't help but become a bit obsessive about some of the inaccuracies in the movie this afternoon.
My favorite inaccuracy, by the way, is that Paris and Menelaus never actually fought in one-on-one combat during the Trojan war. In fact, Menelaus challenged Paris to fight, but, supposedly Aphrodite interfered and did not allow the fight to take place. Aphrodite, after all, had given Helen to Paris as a prize for judging herself to be the fairest of the goddesses. Before the goddess beauty pageant, Menelaus and Helen were very happily married and even had a child together... and after the Trojan war, they were reunited and lived happily ever after.
I guess I'm just having a little trouble realizing that Hollywood needed to "spice up" this story... no matter how hot Brad Pitt is... and believe me, he is damn hot.... some stories are just pretty darn good on their own. He would have been just as hot if they had told a different story.
But... this hardly seems worthy of a whole-hearted bitch session. I just thought I'd mention it. I'm, frankly, kind of surprised how much time I have been even thinking about it today. I guess this is just another way to avoid thinking about anything important... like that midterm on thursday.
Posted by trina at 02:40 PM | Comments (2)
February 16, 2005
Spring Break
Have I finally reached the age when Spring Break begins to stand for 'sleeping in' instead of 'partying'?
Spring Break is almost upon me and in my new full-time student status, I feel that I should do something... anything... to celebrate my week off school. In past Spring Breaks, I have travelled to beach houses, ski lodges, campgrounds, and various friends' houses. But, this year, I have another idea. I will not travel at all. In fact, if I can arrange it... I will do as little moving around as humanly possible.
I feel giddy at the possibility of being able to spend an entire week in my pajamas if I wanted. I can sleep like a champion and then sleep some more. I can get up when I want to... go to bed when I want to.... be as erratic and decadent as I want to be. I can order a pizza online in my pajamas... eat it while I watch movies during the middle of the day... and then decide to take a nap.
In essence, I can regress to a time before schedules, dress codes, expense reports, action item lists, team building exercises, and working lunches. Is it true that it's never too late to have a happy childhood?
Posted by trina at 02:52 PM | Comments (2)
February 15, 2005
Stand Back... It's Contagious.
I have been quite troubled recently by the inertia in my life. This statement may sound puzzling, but really, it makes sense. A body that is at rest stays at rest. I am certainly at rest. I can't seem to get enough energy to move anywhere or do anything of any real consequence. For now, I have accepted that fact.
Enter now the principle of equivalence, recognized by relativity and first noted by Galileo. The principle of equivalence says that if an object possesses inertia, then it will also possess a gravitational field.
Therefore, I am giving you all fair warning... I certainly have inertia... therefore a gravitational force... If you stand too closely... you are sure to be caught in my gravitational field. My inertia will cause you to stand still as well. My laziness will surely rub off.
It's cool though. I have enough cartoons and potato chips to keep us all happy for a little while at least. Then again, we should keep *someone* on speed-dial who isn't caught in the web of laziness... if for no other reason than to drop off daily shipments of Dr. Pepper or beer. Just don't sit in my ass-groove on the couch. I spent a long time crafting it. You could say... it's my life work.
Posted by trina at 12:45 PM | Comments (2)
February 14, 2005
Oh... Dear GAWD... NO
Ladies... Ladies... please... ladies.... if there is absolutely any doubt in your mind that you shouldn't be wearing clothing that exposes your belly.... then, just don't.... please... just don't do it. Just say no...
Because chances are... you shouldn't be wearing anything that exposes your belly.
Big Bellies hanging over tight jeans is just foul... for the sake of everyone who has to see that... please... just refrain.... just don't do it. For the love of Gawd... NO....
Posted by trina at 02:26 PM | Comments (3)
Happy Valentine's Day
Just who is this St. Valentine? Where did he come from... what's all this nonsense about? I decided to do a little google search and see what I could see on the web.... this is the coolest explanation for Valentine's Day I found...
Some claim that the Christian church may have decided to celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. In ancient Rome, February was the official beginning of spring and was considered a time for purification. Houses were ritually cleansed by sweeping them out and then sprinkling salt and a type of wheat called spelt throughout their interiors. Lupercalia, which began at the ides of February, February 15, was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.
To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification.
The boys then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed being touched with the hides because it was believed the strips would make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would then each choose a name out of the urn and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage. Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D. The Roman 'lottery' system for romantic pairing was deemed un-Christian and outlawed.
..... I can just imagine it now... "Here... have some goat hide... it'll help you make babies".... now, that's a turn on.
Posted by trina at 01:35 PM | Comments (0)
February 09, 2005
Studying for Theory of Computation
So... sometime around midnight last night.... I couldn't help but wonder.... is there a Turing Machine that can compute the existence of God? Surely, this question had to be on Hilbert's list. This question plagued me most of the night.... what if we could just solve this dispute once and for all with a few little computations...
The best part of this exploration into the existential is this realization:
If x is an element of the langugae L <=> { yes, if God exists; no, if God does not exist } This is a decidable language.
Oh Alan Turing... what have you done to me?
Posted by trina at 01:53 PM | Comments (1)
February 08, 2005
When do I get my talkshow?
I should have been studying or checking my email or cleaning my house... but, I was caught this afternoon in the vortex that is daytime television. I watched Maury, I watched Jerry, and I even caught a little Jenny.... I was transfixed by the television screen... as if I were an addict. I wonder if there is a Jerry-brand crack?
There was a pattern to everything I saw though... Woman comes out screaming, "That's MYYYYY Man. Ain't no one gonna tell me any different. That's my baby's daddy."..... Man comes out and admits that he cheated.... Other woman comes out and all hell breaks loose... The women scream at eachother and somehow manage to rip eachother's shirts off. (I happened to also notice that not one of these women were wearing granny bras).... the staff pulls the women apart... and there may or may not be a paternity test....
So, now that I have this figured out... can I have my own talkshow? I think I'd be good at it. I'd provoke the best fights, share the most touching moments, and reveal paternity test results with gusto. Maybe this is my calling. I should have been a talkshow host.
Who knows? I may still get my chance considering the fact that I should have been working... and my procrastination could cause me to fail out of school.... After I flunk out, I could backpack across Europe to find myself... meeting some exotic man named Eduardo who gives me my first shot on Spanish televison.... I'll work my way up the ranks and land my first job opposite Jerry on a competing station.... only to win the ratings and become the queen of daytime television!!!
Posted by trina at 12:53 PM | Comments (1)
February 07, 2005
Babies
I've finally hit the age where most of my friends are having babies... or thinking about having babies... or potty training their babies.... or swapping parenting stories about their babies. When did these biological clocks start ticking? Was I not paying attention? I guess I didn't get the baby memo.... I don't think I have a biological clock. (btw- what time do you think biological clocks are set for? because I am soooooo not a morning person)
It's not that I dislike children. I like my friend's kids a lot. I just like to be able to give them back to Mom and Dad when they blow an o-ring or some unidentifiable goo starts to pour out of their face or they begin their best wail to raise the dead.
I'm just hoping that the sudden rash of baby showers I have been invited to will soon subside. I don't know how many Winnie the Pooh diaper bags I can afford this year.
So... everyone... I will share my grandmother's favorite tip on birth control... the best is the put an aspirin between the knees and hold it there... not forever... just long enough for us childless folk to recover from the last shower.
This has been a public service announcement.
Posted by trina at 01:21 PM | Comments (1)
January 31, 2005
Cold Medicine
Today, I blame everything on the cold medicine... if I'm happy, sad, lethargic, hyper, grumpy, sneezy, sniffly, angry, content, etc.... it's all about the cold medicine. It is my completely iron-clad excuse today.
Nevermind what my excuse is on all the other days.
So, what's your excuse?
Posted by trina at 11:30 AM | Comments (3)
January 28, 2005
Bureaucracy
I should have become a bureaucrat. There is no better way to inflict pain on the world than to force them to deal with a bureaucracy. It's our greatest weapon, and it's truly being under-utilized. If the US were to force all enemies to fill out and file an "Enemy of the US" form in triplicate, signed, sealed and delivered... we would surely beat any foe who came up against us. Kill them with long lines, endless paperwork, and deadlines.
"I'm sorry, it appears our computers are down today, you'll have to some back next month. We only process that form every Tuesday and Thursday of the third week of months beginning with the letter J. That is of course unless you have form 3452084-C appended. Then, we can process it every Friday that falls on an odd day from 3:00-3:15pm. Thank you. Have a Nice Day."
Posted by trina at 11:48 AM | Comments (1)
January 24, 2005
What is up with Size 0?
This morning, I was looking for a pair of slacks to wear to my big important meeting. Well, since I've lost a little weight in the last year, I had to try on several different pairs of pants. It struck me as odd that it took me so long to find a decent pair of pants to wear to work. I mean... depending on the brand of the pants, my sizes range anywhere within three different pant sizes... And, don't even get me started on the length issue.
Anyhow, after a little bit of looking around on the internet this morning, it's pretty clear that each brand of women's clothing manufacturers has their own measurement for each size. I've also noticed that the more expensive the clothing, the more generously cut the sizes. This leads me to my point... why the hell should women ever wear a size 0? That just doesn't make any sense. A size 0 means that it doesn't exist in my opinion... its value is 0, zip, nada, niente.
So, why are women's clothes subjected to this arbitrary sizing standard when men can just go to a rack, pick a pair of pants by their waist and inseam measurements and be out on their merry way? If I could have just looked through my closet and said... Ah, a 29" 34".... that would have been so much faster.
So, I still think this is a conspiracy to keep the women-folk down. They are keepin' us down with meaningless sizes that don't correspond to anything in the real world.... I'm pretty sure that if men can measure their waist and inseam that women would be able to handle it as well... so, let's just do that from now on, Okay? Thanks....
Posted by trina at 03:44 PM | Comments (3)
January 23, 2005
Workin' on the Weekend
I suppose that it's not all that uncommon to have to work on the weekend. This isn't much comfort, however, when I consider all the other things I could be doing today. (Granted, I'm not working right now at this particular moment, I have worked this morning, and I'll work again after I write this message.)
I just wish that I could get work done faster with the single concerted focus and energy of a person deeply engrossed in their work. Alas, I guess this means that I will never be a workaholic. Considering all the more fun addictions that I probably have, I'm at peace with this assessment.
Oh well, I don't really have much to say... I guess I better get back to work.
Posted by trina at 02:27 PM | Comments (1)
January 21, 2005
Everyone Needs A Dream
Everyone has a dream... and finally, someone has realized mine....
PRAGUE (Reuters) - A Czech man is being taken to court after he hid in a restaurant washroom until the employees had left and then hooked up beer kegs directly to his mouth.
Cleaning staff found him drunk and lying on the floor of the bar at the restaurant in the city of Brno, about 200km (120 miles) east of Prague, the CTK news agency reported on Thursday.
"He had broken the door of the cooling mechanism ... and detached the hoses leading from the keg, squashed them in his mouth and literally filled himself up with beer," CTK quoted a police official as saying. The man will be charged with damaging property because he caused 8,000 crown ($340) damage to the beer cooling box.
Posted by trina at 02:05 PM | Comments (1)
January 19, 2005
Blogging for Dummies
I still can't believe I have a blog. This fact constantly amazes me. You'd be suprised how much crap I can talk about. I'm a veritable fountain of useless information, opinions, theories, and questions. So, I have finally found my forum.... this is my place to occupy myself when I have so much to say and so little time to say it. It never seems like I have enough time to keep up with anything, except maybe a blog entry here and there throughout the week.
But, today, I really only have one thing I'd like to say and I don't think I'm going to apologize for saying it. Believe me, I have my reasons for saying it.....
Fuck Soccer Moms
Posted by trina at 02:52 PM | Comments (3)
January 18, 2005
That's Evolution
This morning in class, the guy next to me was complaining to the guy next to him that he doesn't have a girlfriend. He seemed utterly perplexed as to why a "catch" like himself couldn't get a date.
I felt the need to interject into the conversation, but, realized that I couldn't. See, the reason that he can't get a date is much more scientific. It's evolution. The characteristics that he displays make women want to run in the other direction as quickly as possible.
It's all a part of the natural course of life. We can't get angry with evolution, it's how we got these nifty little opposable thumbs. The rest of us who do get to mate with the opposite sex should feel better about our future generations. This guy's genes aren't gonna be contaminating the gene pool.... and for that... we can all be glad.
That's evolution... and it exists so he won't mate...
Posted by trina at 12:39 PM | Comments (1)
January 17, 2005
Mental Health Day
I am not technically sick... Well, I am, but, not really. I have an illness, but, I think my problems today are much more metaphysical than physical. Today is a good day to clear the cobwebs from the old brain. All the plaquey build-up of days of insomnia are taking their toll. I need industrial strength mental floss to get it out.
What do you do when your brain has that "not so fresh feeling"?
Well, I don't know. I have debated getting a tattoo, driving to Mexico, and eating my weight in homemade pizza, but, somehow, I think this will not bring my much needed catharsis. I think the reason that we have so many crazy people roaming around the world today is that no one has written a "Catharsis for Dummies" book. How could they have missed this marketing sensation? This idea is gold, I tells ya.
So, how does one jump-start their brain again?
Posted by trina at 12:16 PM | Comments (2)
January 13, 2005
How to Pay for Grad School
I'm a grad student. I am a covert grad student under the clever disguise of a technical professional. I sneak out of my office, change into my Birkenstock sandals and t-shirt, and go listen to professors speak about their various areas of expertise. I have been doing this for close to six years now. I have a feeling that I will be doing it for six more.
Short of selling a kidney or other organ, I will never be able to afford to go to school full-time. I'm just caught in the middle... too busy with school to have too much responsibility at work.... too busy with work to become more involved in school. The balance is tricky. I'm not sure I can keep up either charade for much longer. Surely, I'll blow my cover eventually.
So, this morning, I began brainstorming ways to pay for graduate school. (1) keep eyes out for a bag full of money - preferably free money with no nasty goon-ish people who will come look for it. (2) genetically engineer a talking dog. Surely, we would all want one of these... I'd be a millionaire... and I could become a full-time student. (3) find a human appendage in a soft drink. I don't know how often this happens, but, I'm pretty sure I'd get a huge settlement. (4) hit it big on antiques roadshow.... I just know that jackalope has to be worth big money. (5) become world-class super model.... I just have to throw up everything I ever eat and stare vacantly into space, right?
Mostly, I'd just like to be paid to exist... is that too much to ask?
Posted by trina at 12:09 PM | Comments (2)
January 12, 2005
I woke up with polio
I took my first yoga class on Monday night. I usually don't complain about exercise. I enjoy it... I look forward to working out and I do it quite often. However, the person who gave me polio on Monday night has soured me. It hurts to breathe, laugh, cough, talk, walk, eat, lay down, or otherwise use any muscle in my entire body. The pain is unimaginable.
My dreams of yoga greatness have changed to visions of Alleve or Advil dancing in my head. I no longer think of how cool it would be to fold my body into a pretzel, instead, I think about being able to walk or move my arms again. My inner hippie tells me to keep going... fight through the pain... become one with the universe. But, the cripple I have become tells me to stop. I suppose I'm going to have to let them duke it out. I'm pretty sure that the hippie could kick the cripple's ass though.
They should make yoga an Olympic sport.
Posted by trina at 09:40 AM | Comments (1)
January 11, 2005
Hate
The only thing I am sure of today.... I love to hate and I hate everything else.
Posted by trina at 12:01 PM | Comments (1)
January 07, 2005
Friday Morning Fat Pills
It's Friday morning. This is the time that we get doughnuts. It's a simple tradition which began long before I was ever hired into this place. We wait for the doughnuts. We treasure the doughnuts. We relish this time when we are one with the sugary fried dough. All the monotony and anger from the week seems to dissappear. How could my office really abuse us if they love us enough to give us something yummy every friday morning without fail???? Until now, that is......
My office has started a health initiative. They replaced our doughnuts with granola bars, fruit, and bottled water. No longer can we gorge on a fritter and sit comatose and smiling in our offices. Somehow, friday has lost its flair. It's just like any other day except with a reminder that we're all too fat to deserve yummy yummy doughnuts.
I'm sure the stress of losing our beloved friday doughnuts is causing us more psychological damage than the health benefits that a little fruit salad could possibly deliver.
RIP Doughnut Fridays (2001 - 2004) ... you will be missed.
Posted by trina at 09:13 AM | Comments (3)
January 06, 2005
Life of Pi
Pi is a wacky little number expressing the ratio of the circumference of a perfect circle to its diameter.
I heard yesterday that the value of pi has been calculated to more than three trillion decimal places. This obsession with pi served no apparent purpose. I'm sure that some of these people would find it interesting that there is no such thing as a perfect circle or sphere in nature, since matter is composed of atoms and therefore lumpy, not smooth.
Nature itself seems to round off the decimal when it gets sufficiently small. However, the continued calculation of pi provides a harmless exercise of computer power which would otherwise be misused playing Unreal Tournament or surfing pornographic web sites.
So... here's to you Pi.... cheers.
3.1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679 8214808651 3282306647 0938446095 5058223172 5359408128 4811174502 8410270193 8521105559 6446229489 5493038196 4428810975 6659334461 2847564823 3786783165 2712019091 4564856692 3460348610 4543266482 1339360726 0249141273 7245870066 0631558817 4881520920 9628292540 9171536436 7892590360 0113305305 4882046652 1384146951 9415116094 3305727036 5759591953 0921861173 8193261179 3105118548 0744623799 6274956735 1885752724 8912279381 8301194912 9833673362 4406566430 8602139494 6395224737 1907021798 6094370277 0539217176 2931767523 8467481846 7669405132 0005681271 4526356082 7785771342 7577896091 7363717872 1468440901 2249534301 4654958537 1050792279 6892589235 4201995611 2129021960 8640344181 5981362977 4771309960 5187072113
Posted by trina at 09:00 AM | Comments (1)
January 05, 2005
Resolution
Last year, my new year resolution was to stop making resolutions. I can attest to the fact that 2004 was my first experience in the successful completion of a new years resolution. However, that was last year. But, since I have tasted success... I want to taste it again. ( In case you were wondering it tastes like Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia Ice Cream. Yum. )
I have been brainstorming for days... wondering what I could possibly decide to resolve this year. To stop being boring? Ummm... not gonna happen. To lose weight? Ummm... too cliche. To hike the Appalachian Trail? Ummm... I don't think that stealing other people's resolutions is the answer.
So, after much deliberation and about six beers later... I have my resolution. I feel confident that I can abide.
Stop making the the same stupid mistakes and start making all new ones.
Posted by trina at 08:52 AM | Comments (1)
January 04, 2005
Symphony of Silence
I don't understand people who don't talk to eachother during a meal. I know that it is a long standing tradition to break bread with our brothers and sisters in the jovial spirit of any holiday season. But, shouldn't that include a little chatter? Maybe a little banter? Just babble for goodness sakes. Anything will do... maybe some juicy gossip? a complaint? a funny thing that happened on the way to work? what did you think of that thing? you know, the thing with the stuff?
Everytime I heard someone sniffle or clear their throat, I hoped that they were going to say something.... anything. Somewhere between the clank of silverware against the plates and gulping noises, I realized my great discomfort with the silence.
Some say that silence is golden... actually, I think that silence is purple and green with big orange polka-dots.
Posted by trina at 10:43 AM | Comments (0)
December 23, 2004
Law of Conservation of Fun
I have a theory that there is a "Law of Conservation of Fun". Fun is neither created nor destroyed. There is only a certain amount of fun to last the Universe until the end of time. A corollary to this theory is the idea that most fun is at the expense of other people.... seeing as how there is only a certain amount of it to go around. So, for everyone out there having fun, there is most likely another person out there not having fun... the fun must stay in equilibrium.
They say that laughter is contagious. I think that one could also make the argument that fun is contagious. But really, it's just being passed around - like a cold or herpes or something. Given the rise in the Earth's population... it seems that the chances of fun being passed on to you are getting increasingly small. Those who are having even a little fun should consider themselves lucky... the universe is smiling down upon you.
Now, I know that I am not having any fun today or yesterday or the day before that. I know that I won't be having any fun tomorrow and the day after that. So, I hope the rest of you are having a blast. Merry Freakin' Christmas.
Posted by trina at 09:54 AM | Comments (4)
December 22, 2004
Welcome
I am fundamentally opposed to blogs. However, I am also fundamentally opposed to having a closed mind about such things. Herein lies the dilemna. To blog or not to blog... that is the question.
Obviously, I have chosen to blog. Can "blog" really be used as a verb?
So, my complete waste of bandwidth begins... welcome.
Posted by trina at 10:40 AM | Comments (3)